We don't even get to personality until we are impeccable with our word... How can you attain the right to be a person if you constantly make mistakes? Needless to say, I am my mistakes and do not call them that. I am secure in my awareness until I am proven wrong and am just as secure in my new awareness, and appreaciate your proofs and the attention you gave me. Thank you! Now what am I doing, I'm making a motion to amend pleadings to add a cause of action. We even don't get into the courtroom unless the papers are in order.

I have kitty-cat visitors for the weekend.

The fundraiser at the neighborhood playhouse went well, thanks to the great talent involved... I'd especially like the thank THE STEPPE DOGGES!

How about assuming full responsibility? oh to live up to it...

When it comes to my actions, I am self-insured...

Insurance companies have been in the film business. there's transamerica for united artists, american international is aig... and now, The CVII Insurance Company.

Insurance creates a disproportion in risk assumption... I am seriously suggesting here being

self-insured.

The Center for Holographic Arts downstairs is closing. They gave me a hologram of mezzo-soprano Betty Allen, in case you're looking for it. Oh, she just passed away at 82... young...She's on a 1970's recording of Virgil Thomson's Four Saints in Three Acts...

Ariadne's Thread: I have considered insanity as a method of decision-making... insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result. In the alternative, there is the thread leading from where we are to the desired result. In laying that thread we establish the choices along the way as failures (not worth repeating) with the one success becoming a lengthening of the thread. We'll get to the goal, to the solution of the problem... if it's a problem we're having the other alternative in time is to ignore it and let it join the other problems that will eventually undo us... Or rather we can perceive that problem as part of the human condition. http://www.cinemavii.com/images/washdc/4.htm

General acknowledgement... well, there are classic films out there... I so enjoyed the James Whale film with uh... it was in vienna... great wizard of oz and Ms. Caroll... and then last night I turned on uh, hard eight? Sydney... Mr. PT Anderson's film... seamlessly scripted cinema... slept after 40 minutes with more to come the only relief being that what was coming was somehow an offshoot of bob le flambeur. The feeling that All fits into place follows now with regard to There Will Be Blood... It's looking like a very likeable film for which affection will only grow... I don't think I've fully explored my capability for flakey self-expression. The other amazing awareness and I thank you for it, is... There is a pre-life; there is an after-life; but to achieve affectuation, there is no better time to do so than during This Life.

Oh yes, I am grateful to have the music set tonight. I've been active with various matters over the month of April and I'm always grateful to see the end of April. No, I never set music to The Wasteland, but here's the page with my 1970's interpretation of TS Eliot's Four Preludes: http://www.cinemavii.com/projects/TSEliot.htm

The performance tonight introduces to my songs the sound of the sitar...

SideWalk Waltz (Back to the Simple Days)Two Cranes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNpvHeBdmKo

I Love the Law

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZCrjy3gcOw

Love Them Both

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lP3xn2iU2cA

Question of Solitude Theme Song with SitarVision Quest 1 -- Peaceful Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSR6QbpQBFs

alternate version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1KTH-49G0U

Vision Quest 2 -- That Much Better

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSO8989sXyA

Vision Quest 3 -- Give This Chant a Chance

Along the Highway in B

My Defenses are Down (Cover of a Song by Irving Berlin

Anything else? Electronica is a major timewaster... I buy something and getting it up and running takes time... That time must be factored in... how about buying something out of an open box, something that's tested and used... Good. I want something old that works. Now, I bought a toy video camera with an SD card attachment, I got a mini sd card... 4 gig... anyway, this storage system is very small and there are no moving parts... is the disappearance of the info only a magnet away? There's not that much space, or there's a limitless amount of space in the universe... what else? I was sick over the month and there was advice from Tyr Throne... we're not really carnivores, maybe we're omnivores but with the length of the digestive tract... we're absorbing over a period of time well beyond cats and dogs and other carnivores... and over that 24 hours the stuff has to be pretty stable... it can't be overly fermentible... as for anything packaged for shelf life... maybe salt is ok... other creative consultant bombshells from Tyr... revealing concealed estros... It's all part of A Question of Solitude now... thank you.

It's looking to me like each of Bernard Shaw's plays, preceded by its essay of coalesced elements, is a gift to the world. There's a good review of the Bible's New Testament in the 100 pages that precede his script for Androcles and the Lion. (I returned to it for a quote that I have yet to find about the audience at a roman colleseum that will appear in a nursing home in "A Question of Solitude" a new script with a reading at La Mama on March 31st.)

I thought that the silencing from martyrdom at calvary produced a worldwide backlash still felt 2000 years later, but Shaw's critique suggests that the silencing was successful. The teaching of a brilliant thinker (deluded, perhaps by a chance suggestion of one of his apostles, namely Peter) was usurped by ... well, to quote the words that seem particularly worthwhile...

"Paul succeeded in stealing the image of Christ crucified for the figure-head of his salvationist vessel, with its Adam posing as the natural man, its doctrine of original sin, and its damnation avoidable only by faith in the sacrifice of the cross. No sooner had Jesus knocked over the dragon of superstition than Paul boldly set it on its legs again in the name of Jesus."

This is of double concern for me since I applied the genesis story in a recent piece, Paradise Found. I thought I was resonating the original biblical book, when I was mouthing an interpretation of it by Paul, which I have never read.

Anyway, the simply stated conclusion of Shaw is "There has really never been a more monstrous imposition perpetrated than the imposition of the limitations of Paul's soul upon the soul of Jesus."

Saying that sounds radical, and I am drawn toward radical statements... however Shaw offers a thoughtful argument before making it.

While there may be a physical decline processing within us as we travel through time, technology is advancing, supplementing, perhaps also supplanting what we lose. Eyesight is one diminishment; general awareness is another. Is this even worth saying? Today I'm better than I ever was, which suggests I was deep within a rut. It was one of my own making, arising out of my desire for AVOIDANCE. Tomorrow, again I awaken to go to a deposition in Queens for a car accident case that requires translators for all deposed, just to get a record in English of testimony that translates into a contingency fee of money for the firm, which means I get my salary in this game of legal work. I can't imagine doing anything else right now, as time indents into my hours of elyseum. I just returned from the Mac Roger Robots play, a meditation on humans supplanted by their improvements, still stumped by predicaments inherent in human nature, and they, the new race, take precautions, lest they forget, by annually conducting a religiously ritualistic history lesson. They remember how they got there, how they arrived that place. An artist created them. The new race is no better than the one it replaced.
My relationship with machines has not translated into humanizing them, because it wouldn't matter if I did. I go to bed crying that the cry for help that goes unheeded is my own.