nothing nothing nothing monumental momentary clarity nothing nothing repeat repeat repeat repeat

Moods are off kilter tonight.

The words that reduce me to tears, sung by composer Kate Bush, are "I just know that something good is going to happen. I don't know when, but just SAYING it can even make happen."

"Comfort ye, my people."

One indictment of selfishness after the other... I'm selfish. It limits me. I go from one avoidance to another. I got a taste of something last night, of limitless possibility, and I became afraid of the serendipity. Behaviour is predictable, especially the behaviour of the unobserved.

That dip in the Atlantic Ocean yesterday during Patsy's party really unrested my inner expansiveness! Help.

Emmanuelle Seigner is married to Roman Polanski. She makes looking tired look good. Thank you for that and good night.

I really have to cut out this 120 dollar a month all in one time warner cable. "Who the hell are you to touch my niggers?" It's Mandingo, a movie about to burst with violence but for now, it's just master slave sadism. This movie was everywhere meaning along the subway walls in a monster ad campaign when I was riding that old F train to Arch Bishop Malloy High School. I'm shocked to see James Mason doing an accent job on the US South. "Marry a white girl, then no more black girls, can't have 'em." "Oh yes you can, saves her from having to submit and when she do you keep on your shirt and drawers..." "New Orleans, that's the place to go, they remove clothes there." Mason has his feet on the cute little black boy and now it's time for a horsedriven carriage ride. The slaves are a marchin' with their american flag leading the way. What am I watching here at 12:24 Thursday morn? Tomorrow, perhaps to the Guggenheim, all I have to do is find the invitation for the Moving Pictures Exhibit opening. "You got that old Mandingo buck, the best fighting niggers..." I see a Spartacus in the making... The hotel staff just dropped off the girls for the guys, little black girls pawed by the white men. You take the virgin, I don't want no hard work. Wap, slaps the no hard worker, a real surprise for her. "Yes master." This does play upon issues of inadequacy and domination. These guys need serious therapy, or serious acknowledgment. One of the guys is sickened by the others whipping tendency. The pretty skinny girl with the tightly cut hair looks compassionately back at him for being different, for caring what a white man does with his wenchy. His leg is somehow lame... Oh, it's getting romantic and except for their size the male and female could be compatible. "I like you, sir... please you..." Tears for both. Press the info button. 1975.

I liked Ghost World, an infinitely watchable film, nearly 'til the end, it's the sequel to Revenge of the Super Nerds Part One, which is better known as Crumb. (Thank you, Queens Library DVD Collection)

I saw the exact same portion, the last hour, of Polanski's The Ninth Gate, again tonight following my visit to Don Shaw's for some Latin Jazz playing, an experience that stands apart from my daily activity, as does the experience yesterday with Amachi...

Ah movies. What impressed me, and that's what the mysteries of 8 will consider here, was the Ninth Gate's ever changing landscape. It is an elegant film. Note that Lena Olin recieves suitably sadistic treatement, Polanski subtly stimulating the sadists with the details, her nudity beneath the cape, her flesh wobbling when Frank Langella kicks her away.

Do you expect me to believe The Ultra-Elegant Johnny Depp concerns himself with finding the book pieces for himself? I can't imagine, although he has a convincing response to his delightful female companion, Emmanuel. Okay, I'm posting now, I'm looking up info on her quirkiness. I rather enjoyed their interaction. In fact, I rather enjoy the film. Is that great filmmaking on a panderingly popular level? I love Polanski's film, Cul de sac. For reasons perhaps perhaps obvious to all but myself,
I feel very close to his work.

Tomorrow is my 15 year Law School Reunion and the opening of The Prepare to Meet Your Maker SIng-A-Long Song-A-Thon at the WAH Center. How to attend both... hm.

In 1949 Maurice Sandoz wrote about the Tsatsa, the Jivaro's shrunken head (The woman for whom he was obtaining it dies before he can give it to her! His head, thereafter, shrinks while the Tstasa's head expands. The fun in the story precedes these disappointing denouements.). The book containing this and other stories about conversations with the insane, with illustrations by Salvador Dali, is entitled "On The Verge."

Go forth with the intent to do something and see what you get. If you don't find love, the consolation prise will be to achieve what you set out to do.

The mixture of elation and sadness is extreme again. It is tempered with an unusual hope based upon the uniqueness of the circumstance, despite its elements of familiarity. It's something new based upon a new combination.
For those who don't know, 'cause I didn't...
1. You ask me challenging questions about myself.
2. I answer.
3. You listen.
4. I fall in love with you.

It's narcissism. I do the same with you. It's narcissism. Two people in love? Narcissism. Speaking like someone who knows about this is also narcissism.

Edward Di Maio came by the office today. I worked with him in the distant past and knew him as Eddie Dimaio. He resides with a family of Quakers in Lafayette Indiana. Major breakthroughs occurred in his life when he met his father -- he no longer needed to look for his father in other people. He teaches breathing as a meditation and is preparing for publication a book of poetry. His website is http://www.thefaceofmay.com.

I herein acknowledge the death during the month of April of three friends under 45, in order of departure, Alex Reyes, Horace White and Robert O'Connor.

Listening to Marshall Mathers I realize,
If it's not sex to have babies, it doesn't matter which sex you are.

Kim pointed out that The Piano Teacher looks interesting. To my surprise, the film credits Isabella Hupert as the lead. There is an isolated history within the vast subgroup, French Cinema. I'm trying to remember any films that do not stem from the isolated history -- Oh, Cocteau's films. That's another subgroup including Melville. One of my favorite films is Melville's film of Cocteau's Les Infants Terribles.

The other delightful stream of films connects with Depardeau and others, including Ms. Hupert above. Bertrand Blier is director.

Oh, The Piano Teacher is from Germany. Michael Haneke directed. David Denby writing for The New Yorker loved it.

666
777
888
big deal

Excuse me, I saw some scenes from Chinatown, the names Alonso, Polanski, Houston, Nicholson Dunnaway, Towne, may come to mind. Are there any shots that look like when it was made? Are there hairstyles or minor details that reveal THE NINETEEN SEVENTIES? Finally, please filmmakers, be careful with manipulating and enhancing natural lighting. If you are filming during what is supposed to be a certain time of day you may only have 10 or 15 minutes in which to do so.

Who governs the land I own? Me. I am Caesar and this is my Palace. If I say you're on the 31st floor, you are, even if there are only 15 below you!

A great big debt I left unpaid
I borrowed on love I’d not yet made.

I have to go to love today
I’ve got to love. I love to live.
I love so hard from nine to five.

More than any buccaneer is
How much love I make a year.

But now I’m on vacation, dear.
Pornography is knowledge here.
And knowledge shatters paradise.
Meet me there. I’ll see you guys!

Love, Peter

The John Seroff Eleventh Hour played for four performances at The WAH Center. Guided by the 1999 version and inspired by the recent discovery of the 1974 version, he raised the dramatic opportunities.

In 1999 I received a La MaMa commission to write a play for their Experiments reading series and, with nothing but the Lost Horizon album with the reordered track sequence to guide me, I wrote it.

In December I found the electronics notebook with the 1974 version.

John has the thirteen year-old boy create the story for the audience in real time. The six actors do all in their power to share his visions. I have enpowered John Seroff and he, unlike me, is not afraid of people not liking him. He willingly creates and braves the storm.

The Eleventh Hour history is as follows: Note that every presentation has received a good attendance. Despite and because of the danger in content and presentation, mounting a production of this play is a good investment opportunity.

March 13, 1999 at La Mama La Galleria with Cheryl and Jeff
Two more performances at La Tea

December 30th, 2001, the Sidewalk Toby and Cockroach event.

My reading at The Dempsey's Pub of the 1974 version on February 10th, 2002

March 15, 16, 22 & 23 2002 WAH Center performances of the John Seroff version (Jennifer Stuckert and Nadja Stokes).

Oh sure, I saw Pollock, the movie, thanks to Jon Berger and his efforts to obtain interesting DVDs from the library, and through it I learned how to make the work of a well know artist appear negligible: Ignore the continuous line dripping that made studying his paintings such fun for some.

Kim and I left New York on Friday evening, January 25th, 2002, travelling on British Airways. It was soothing to have the liquid screens showing movies on the back of the seats in front of us. Legally Blond, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion...

Saturday.
We met Matt and Goldmund at 12 Bar. Ms. Harper played, then Matt. He played a great set. I met Andy there. When I told him my River Bar gig on Wednesday was cancelled he invited me to come by there to play. Paul from On-Line TV taped Matt's show.

Sunday we met Matt and Goldmund (with Matt's friend, Chris) in Camden Town. We played at the Golden Lion. They had an open stage prior to the main act (Matt) so I played two songs there, with Matt on guitar. It's a family bar, on a Sunday night? The place was packed with the regulars. Matt's performance there was simply historic. A woman, Claire, from totallyradio.com interviewed Matt.

Monday Kim and I went to Phil's Up All Night Open Stage at the Spice of Life. Up All Night? They actually close up promptly at 11. Matt came by later. I played there, and met Amber, a black girl with braces, Egils from here, Yuka from here, and this piano fellow who played with Yuka, Joe Quillin. They have a nice piano.

Tuesday Kim and I saw a Sondheim revue, There's Always a Woman, performed on a stage filled with sand -- is it the bahamas or the sahara?

Wednesday I played at 12 Bar. Rick Siegel was there, updating me on OnLineTV. Magoo and Kaito were playing acoustic sets. I was the opening act. Kaito was exceptional. Phil's office is 5 doors down so I went up there and wrote something about our activities for his Up All Night fanzine.

Thursday to Glasgow to play with Matt at the State Bar there. I met Francis Macdonald and his assistant, Heather MacDonald, no relation, in fact she's from North Carolina... Flying back and forth was great.

Friday, we played at The Spice of Life. Matt took the train back and there were delays because of weather and striking so he arrived in time to play a half hour from 10:30-11.

Saturday, I played at the acoustic front stage by the bar of the Cockpit Theatre, it was like Manhattan Theatre Source with the "two stages."

Sunday, Kim and I headed to New York. It was soothing to have the liquid screens showing movies on the backs of the seats in front of us.